Fate's Strange Ways
by I Am CreepyPasta's Daughter
Summary: It's a normal day on Olympus when a girl suddenly shows up and tells the gods they need to prevent the wars in the future or they'll be doomed. What is she talking about and why aren't the Fates stopping this? All they can think is that Fate works in mysterious ways.
1. Eliza

**I took down this story because I couldn't handle the review, but guess what? I'm back! Hater gonna hate, but at the end of the day I still got my stories.**

**I own nothing.**

It was a normal day on Olympus. Everyone was doing what they usually did on a normal day, Aphrodite was arguing with Athena telling her that her daughters needed a better image, Artemis was yelling at Apollo because he seduced one of her hunters, Hermes was in an argument with Dionysus about Pac-Man, Zeus was being yelled at by Hera for never listening to her, Hephaestus and Ares were arguing over Aphrodite, Poseidon was being yelled at by Zeus because he was being yelled at by Hera. Chiron and Hestia were at the Demi-god camp as usual.

They were still doing their very important activities when a bright light showed up and a girl who looked about 24 appeared. She stood at about 5'7 with dark auburn hair and bright eyes that didn't seemed to want to commit to being one color. She smiled at them.

"Hello." She said softly. "My name's Eliza and I come from the future."

None of the gods had anything to say to that, not even Zeus. Eliza smiled before holding out her hands, suddenly they were surrounded by a shimmering light the same color as her golden silk gown. All the gods had their weapons out before the light disappeared and was replaced by...nothing?

"What is this?" Zeus demanded. "Who are you and why are you here?"

"As I have previously told you, my name is Eliza and I come from the future."

"Are you expecting us to believe you?" Athena asked dubiously. Eliza merely shook her head.

"I do not expect you to believe me, but I do need you to believe me." She said. She raised her hands and held them in front of her and closed her eyes as if she was praying, but then they snapped open and she quickly brought her hands apart and as she stretched them out a shining light consumed the space.

"What is that?" Zeus demanded for the second time. "In time it shall all be clear lord Zeus." Eliza said.

"In the future on my 26th birthday you all summoned me onto Olympus." She said looking at them all. "The Fates warned you about a rising power that was coming for Olympus in less than 2 weeks. You assembled all your servants, and any gods who could be of assistance. You fought alongside the demi-gods and you all fought well together, but you were over powered and out manned."

"I don't understand why you're telling us this." Athena said and the rest of the gods had to agree. Time travel was not something they were permitted to do often.

"In due time Lady Athena." Eliza said before continuing. "Apollo was the last god standing and he used the last of his power to send me here."

"What about the Fates?" Artemis asked.

"The Fates warned you because whatever was coming could not be controlled by them." Eliza explained. "As soon as every god and demi-god was taken out they were next."

"That's impossible." Poseidon said.

"If it was she wouldn't be here right now would she?" Demeter asked.

"How do we know she's even telling the truth?" Poseidon asked.

"My brother has a point." Zeus said. "How do we know you aren't lying?" Eliza let go of the shining golden light and it flew and stopped in front of the gods before they saw Apollo's face. Apollo didn't know how he felt knowing he stilled used the same body as now in the future.

_"Hey guys this is me."_ _The screen Apollo said. "You have to trust Eliza, she is the last hope for Olympus. I know this is strange and that you probably think this is a joke, but it's not. If you don't trust Eliza we will all die and Olympus will be doomed to be taken over by-" He looked over his shoulder as something exploded and the ground shook. "I have to go, but just trust the girl and if you don't believe me then Poodoodlemire." He said then he was gone and the light dimmed until it was gone._

"What is poodoodlemire?" Hermes asked Apollo as everyone looked at him. He was pale and looked more worried that any of them had looked in their existence.

"It's a word I use for danger." He explained looking at nothing. "I-I made it up as a joke a few decades ago, but then I started using it to signal danger."

"Are you sure about this?" Zeus asked. "Have you told anyone else this word?"

"No one." Apollo said confidently. "Not even Hermes." The gods knew it was serious, Apollo and Hermes were the closest out of all of them. They told each other everything.

"Very well." Zeus conceded. "Have we have all come to the conclusion to trust this girl?" Each god and goddess said yes. "What must we do?" He asked Eliza.

"When I was younger there was a war." She told them. "Gods & demi-gods VS Titans." Hera gasped.

"How did they come back?" Athena asked.

"In due time." Eliza said yet again. "But there were a lot of casualties in that fight, too many that could have been prevented, including my sister, many of my friends and a lot of hunters." Artemis looked at her. Her hunters were the most important thing to her and it pained her when one of them died or even left the hunt. She couldn't imagine how she'd feel if so many of them did. "The biggest reason you lost were because of numbers, there were many demi-gods that tried to help, hundreds but the threat you faced had thousands of their own man power."

"What are we supposed to do about that?" Ares asked.

"We're going to prevent the demi-god deaths from the first war."

"I understand how we can do that." Athena said. "It's impossible without knowing what happened."

"A few days before Olympus was destroyed, the Fates summoned me. They wrote five books about one boy who changed the fate of Olympus many times and ultimately was the reason you won the first war."

"I don't understand." Ares said and Athena rolled her eyes. She didn't know why Hephaestus put up with Aphrodite, she was perfect for Ares. Simple minded, shallow and selfish.

"We are going to read every single book to prevent both wars and keep Olympus under the rule of the gods."

(I so wanted to end it here, but decided I would write no short chapters.)

"Are you kidding me?!" Ares exclaimed. "You're really going to make us read books?"

"Why must you complain about everything?" Hera asked and the rest of the gods stared at her.

"You're one to talk." Poseidon said to his sister. "You complain more than Aphrodite."

"It's true." Said goddess agreed.

"First we need a few things." Eliza said stopping the impending fight.

"Like what?" Zeus asked.

"Hestia, Persephone and Hades." She said knowing what was coming next.

"NO!" Zeus shouted. "Hades will only step foot on Olympus during the solstice and no other time!"

"Yes he will!" Eliza said. "He needs to be here!"

"Why?! So he can try to-"

"Steal you power?" Eliza asked. "You're so freaking paranoid about Poseidon and Hades trying to take over that you only see the bad in everything. Hades is not the enemy here, if he wanted to he could summon up every skeleton warrior from every graveyard in the Unites States and bring them to Olympus to overthrow you and you would lose because they can't die because they're already dead! But Hades hasn't done that because he respects you to much even though you basically banished him to the underworld and by the way if Poseidon wanted to, he could take you down like that." She finished snapping her fingers. When Eliza was done with her ran the gods were shocked. They never expected something like that to come from a cool and collected girl like her.

When she was done Eliza took a deep breath and pushed her hair out of her face, she wasn't even winded and it looked like she was still the cool and calm person she was before she started yelling.

"I told you water disasters are better than air disasters." Poseidon gloated after a few minutes of silence.

"Is that really what you took from that?" Athena asked.

"Just bring them up here now or I'll do it myself." Eliza told Zeus. He didn't make any move to do so, Eliza sighed and waved her hand before Hades was suddenly sitting in a throne made from souls and bones between Hera and Zeus.

"What's going on here?!" He asked looking around. "Why am I here?"

"I brought you here." Eliza said ignoring the gawking king of the gods and explaining what was happening. "Now." She asked. "Who would like to read first?"


	2. I Accidentally Vaporize My Teacher

**FYI: This is a reading the books story, but with a twist. Cannon couples and no Pothena or Thalico...that's just...it's just weird.**

* * *

After Eliza brought up Chiron and Hestia, she got the gods to come down to normal height and switch their thrones out with sofas and chairs or in Apollo and Hermes case, bean bag chairs. Either way, Zeus wasn't happy with it.

"I'll read first." Athena volunteered.

"Surprise, surprise." Poseidon muttered, but everyone heard him.

"Shut it Barnacle Beard." Athena snapped.

"Ratsucker." He shot back. Athena was about to retort when Zeus stopped her.

"Poseidon leave my daughter alone." Zeus commanded rubbing his temples.

"Twenty-two years later and you're still fighting over the same stupid things." Eliza grumbled sitting in on the chair Artemis had conjured for her.

"Athena please just read the flipping book!" Demeter pleaded.

"This is exactly how we feel when you rant on and on about cereal." Persephone told her mother. Athena could see her about to start shouting so she decided to read the book.

**Percy Jackson and The Olympians; The Lightning Thief**

"Haha!" Hermes laughed at his father. "Someone actually stole your lightning!"

"Shut up Hermes!" Artemis yelled.

"This is why I have grey hairs before I'm even 30." Eliza mumbled.

**Chapter one: I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER**

"How do you accidentally vaporize someone?" Hades asked and everyone looked at Ares.

"Hell if I know." He said at all their looks. "When have I vaporized someone on accident?" Hephaestus started coughing to cover his laughter. "Shut up Hephaestus!"

******Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.**

"No one does kid." Apollo said sadly. The gods knew what their demi-god children went through on a daily basis and it didn't help that there was a law forbidding them for having contact with them.

******If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now.**

**Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.**

"What good that did me." The gods heard Eliza grumble under her breath. Poseidon looked at her, like really looked at her. He knew her from somewhere, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.**

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe this ever happened.**

"Why are mortals reading this book?" Zeus asked. Eliza shrugged.

"I didn't write this," Eliza reminded him. "This came straight from the mind of Percy Jackson. His every move and thought, it's 100% accurate."

"That's...kinda freaky." Hades commented.

"Says the god who buys stone statues from Medusa." Eliza said.

"What?!" He exclaimed seeing the other gods faces. "Persephone likes them for the garden!" Said goddess shrugged.

"They're hauntingly beautiful." She explained. "And they make the Underworld look great."

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a mat-ter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"I didn't get a warning out of any of that." Apollo said.

"It's a good thing you're pretty." Eliza said and Apollo just grinned while Artemis snickered like the juvenile girl she looked like.

**My name is Percy Jackson.**

**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

**Am I a troubled kid?**

"Is he?" Hermes asked.

"That's like asking a fish if it likes the ocean." Eliza informed.

"How exactly do you know this boy?" Athena asked. She just smile serenely.

"In due time." All gods groaned.

**Yeah. You could say that.**

"Oh my us!" Hermes exclaimed jumping up. "She's a psychic!"

"I'm a demi-god." Eliza said.

"Oh." Hermes said falling back onto his bean bag chair looking dejected.

"But I know plenty of psychics." Eliza said not liking the sad look on his face.

"Really?"

"Hermes," Hera said looking annoyed. "You know thousands of psychics and seers." Realization dawned on his face, Eliza realized he was acting a bit childish, but he was like Remus Lupin. He'd probably feel better after eating some chocolate.

**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"Ohmergawd!" Poseidon exclaimed. "That sounds like torture!" Zeus looked at him strangely.

"What in the name of Tartarus is 'Ohmergawd'?" Zeus asked. Poseidon shrugged.

**I know-it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.**

**But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**

"Isn't that the name you use when you go out in the mortal world?" Demeter asked Chiron who smiled but said nothing.

**Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

"He shouldn't be sleeping in class anyway." Athena chided.

"You're the only one who wouldn't be put to sleep." Ares shot. Like the mature adult she was, Athena summoned an owl and made it attack Ares. "Ow! Ow! Okay! I quit!"

**My sister Eliza was also on the trip.**

"So you're his sister!?" Hades exclaimed.

"I said 'in due time'." Eliza said. "Well now it's 'due time'." She let out a breath and her presence seemed to change drastically. "Now I can stop this vague thing!"

"Who told you to act vague?" Hephaestus asked.

"Your brother." She said nodding her head towards Apollo. "He said if I didn't appear serious and calm you wouldn't believe me. Well now you do and this dress is starting to get uncomfortable." She stretched her arms up and a golden shimmer went around her.

When it disappeared she sat in the same spot wearing a denim mini skirt and a black tank top, but she still wore shimmering gold shoes. She stomped her feet and they turned into black heels.

"If you're a demi-god then how'd you do that?" Hestia asked.

"Rule #5; never go anywhere without a pair of back-up heels." Eliza said.

"I feel like I've heard that before." Hades said. "Who'd you say your godly-parent was?"

"I didn't." Eliza said with an angelic smile before gesturing to Athena to began reading again.

**While I was 12, Eliza was 16, but sometimes Yancy did crossover trips with Eliza's boarding school, Brookestone.**

**Eliza was the stereo-typical American teenager. She had wavy waist length hair that was jumping between dark red and dark brown, eyes that also wouldn't commit and fair skin. **

**Her now dark red hair was pulled into a high ponytail which was one of the requirments of being a cheerleader at her school. To get even more stereotypical, she was captain of the cheerleading team and she had been dating Parker Fields the quarterback and captain of the football team.**

"You really were a walking stereotype." Persephone said. "You have to be Aphrodite's kid."

"Was that meant to be a compliment?" Eliza asked.

"Yes."

"Okay." Eliza accepted. "But I'm not anymore. I mean, I'm still a cheerleader...and now married to a quarterback. You know what? I think I take that back."

"Wise decision." Athena commented.

**She could sometimes be a bit much and was a total diva, but she kept me out of trouble. Mostly because I couldn't stand the look she gave me when she'd call to check up on me and found out I got kicked out of class.**

**I hoped this trip would be okay. At least, I hope that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

"You've got as much of a chance as a snowflakes chance in Hell." Eliza said.

"That much trouble?" Hestia asked.

"That much trouble." Eliza confirmed.

**Boy was I wrong.**

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth grade school, when we went to Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.**

"Lost my favorite head band in that accident." Eliza said solemly while Hermes, Apollo and Ares laughed.

**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. And the time before that... Well, you get the idea.**

"NO I DON'T!" Hermes shouted. "I WANT MORE!"

"That's what she said." Eliza said smirking at their open mouths.

"You didn't lose anything in that accident did you?" Aphrodite asked.

"My lucky charm bracelet." She said. "My parents gave it to me when I was born."

"You mean the charm bracelet you haven't stopped fiddling with since you sat down?" Athena asked.

"Percy called in a favor with his godly parent who found it for me."

"And who is his godly parent?" Demeter asked.

"In due time." Chorused everyone. No one seemed to realize that only a sea god could've found it and Eliza preferred it that way.

**This trip, I was determined to be good.**

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover** **in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

"For one," Hera began. "Who eats peanut butter and ketchup?"

"Forget that!" Apollo yelled. "Hermes had another kid!"

"Who said it was my kid?" Hermes asked.

"KLEPTOMANIAC GIRL!" Apollo shouted.

"Oh so every klepto kid in the world is automatically mine?" Hermes asked.

"Seems like it!" Apollo yelled.

"You're just mad that my kids managed to steal your cabins Lyre." Hermes accused and Apollo gasped, but before he could say anything Eliza waved her hand and their conversation/ yelling match was muted.

"Please go on." She said.

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled.**

"He sounds like a satyr." Ares said.

"That's because he is a satyr!" Hephaestus said.

**He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Why do satyrs like cheese so much?" Eliza asked Dionysus. He looked agitated when he finally looked up from his magazine.

"Because it comes from cows." He said sarcastically.

"Your face came from a cow." Eliza muttered.

"What?" Dionysus asked.

"What?"

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"Humans." Hephaestus said disgusted.

**"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

"And ketchup? All mixed together? In your hair?" Aphrodite asked.

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

**"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover and Eliza pulled me back to my seat.**

"You su-" But Ares stopped when he saw the look he was getting from Eliza.

**"You're already on probation," She reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there.**

"He wouldn't really hit a girl would he?" Persephone asked. Eliza shrugged.

"Depends on the girl, situation and the fact if she was a monster or not."

**In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.**

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a **_**stele, **_**for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

"I know someone who could make a worst one." She said looking straight at Hades, but nobody noticed.

**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

"That sounds really familiar." Hades murmured.

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**

"And I was called every time." Eliza informed them. "That bitch hated me."

"Wow." Apollo, who had just been un-muted, said. "Kittty has some claws, rawr!"

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."**

"You really need to train your satyrs better." Zeus said to Dionysus, not even sparing him a look.

"Right..." He said distractedly. "I'll get right on that Aunt Gladys..."

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you **_**shut up**_**?"**

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

"Of Course it did." Chiron said.

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

**"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

**My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?**

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

The older gods shuddered.

"Did it have to be that one Chiron?" Hestia asked. "I'd rather not think of my time in there."

"Were you there?" Hera asked as if she hadn't even noticed she shared a stomach with the girl.

"Yes I was." Hestia said hotly. "And you'll do well to remember that, _little_ sister." Hera grimaced.

**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied.**

**"And he **_**did **_**this because ..."**

**"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god,** **and—"**

"GOD!" roared Zeus in rage.

"Calm down old man." Poseidon said. "You'll give yourself a heart attack before Hera does." Poseidon didn't know why, but he did know that he felt oddly protective of the boy.

**Eliza stomped on my toes and it took everything I had not to yell.**

"It didn't even hurt that much you baby." Said girl said.

**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

**"Titan," I corrected myself blinking away a few tears. "And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead.**

"I can't believe he bought that." Eliza said.

"I can." Hades said. "Zeus had an unusually big head. Mother said it took him 12 years to grow into it."

"She told me it was 15." Poseidon said.

"I heard 11."

"I heard 16."

"It was 10 years and all the ladies still loved me." Zeus said against his better judgement. He caught his wife's eye and was glad that Hades was between them.

**And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters—"**

**"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.**

**"—and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

"He just summed up the biggest war in history in just a few sentences" said a shocked Athena.

"Thanks Percy for you." Eliza said with a sad smile.

"Why do you look so sad when you talk about him?" Artemis asked.

"Well in my time I'm the only surviving half-blood." Eliza said. "And that includes him."

"I'm sorry." Aphrodite said.

"It's fine." Eliza said quickly drying away the stray tear that had managed to get through the barrier of mascara. "I'm here to to change that."

**Some snickers from the group.**

"Why are they laughing, he got it right?" Hestia asked.

"Mortals are weird." Eliza said simply.

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

"Well now I'll make sure it is." Athena said.

"Can you do that?" Apollo asked.

"Bitch," She said. "I'm Athena; Goddess of wisdom and battle strategies. I can do whatever the hell I want." Apollo raised his hands in surrender.

"The hell got into her?" He whispered to his brother.

"No idea." Hermes answered. "But I like it."

**"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

**"Busted," Grover muttered.**

**"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.**

**"Or what?" Eliza asked, but Nancy knew better than to say anything. Nancy's older sister was what Eliza called her frenemy. **

"What the hell is a frenemy?" Ares asked.

"A friend who's really your enemy." Aphrodite filled.

"That's genius." He realized.

"Who do you think said 'Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer'?" Athena asked.

"The Fonze?"

**She was always waiting for an excuse to knock her down a few pegs, but I didn't really understand any girl talk that went beyond carbs and sleepovers.**

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

**"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

"Chiron," Artemis said. "You need tact."

"I train warriors and heroes." He said. "Not school children."

"In my time you did." Eliza said.

"Really?"

"Well not you specifically, but a friend of mine built these school cabins for the year-rounders. They learn math, science, art, history, litterature and all sorts of other things from 5 AM to 12 PM Tuesday through Fridays."

"I've been trying to make that happen for years." Athena said.

"Well all you need was the right push from the right person." Eliza said with a small smile.

"Just so yow know, you're still doing that vague thing." Apollo informed her.

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.**

"Doofuses isn't a word." Athena said.

"_Doofuses isn't a word._" Hermes and Apollo mocked before getting attacked by three owls.

**Eliza went outside with her friends from the cheerleading squad and Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go— intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"Not everything but close enough." Eliza said, not knowing Chiron heard her.

**"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

**"About the Titans?"**

**"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

**"Oh."**

"Does he say anything else?" Demeter asked.

"Rarely."

**"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**

"That means he's a good teacher." Hestia said.

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever **_**lived, **_**and their mother, and what god they worshiped.**

"C'mon Chiron!" Apollo exclaimed.

"Let the kid be a kid!" Hermes continued. All they got was a glare from their uncle.

**But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C— in my life. No—he didn't expect me to be **_**as good; **_**he expected me to be **_**better. **_**And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**

"It took him a while, but he did it." Eliza informed them.

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

"I think we all were." Hestia said sadly.

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York State had been weird since Christmas.**

"Did you two get into another fight?" Persephone asked looking at her father and uncle.

"I just realized that you have a habit of sleeping with your sisters." Eliza said looking at Zeus. "That's called incest." All she got was a few muffled laughs from the less mature gods and a glare from Zeus.

**We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

**While Eliza sat with her cheerleader friends, Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from **_**that **_**school—the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"But you were from the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere." Ares said.

"And you're from a mother who doesn't love you." Eliza said making Hera look away and Ares glare. "I'm sorry that was insensitive." She said holding up her hand.

"What are you doing?" Apollo asked.

"It's called a sympathy five." Eliza explained. "If you don't hit it you're not a real bro." Ares didn't know what to do so he leaned over and hit her hand.

**"Detention?" Grover asked.**

**"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean—I'm not a genius."**

"No truer words have ever been spoken." Eliza said.

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

"Oh my us!" Apollo said with tears in his eyes. "That was beautiful!" Hermes burst out sobbing into Apollo's shoulder and they continued to cry while holding each other.

"You two need help." Athena stated.

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat.  
****I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"Mama's boy" Ares coughs. Eliza glared.

"That's my mama too." She reminded him.

**Eliza finally left her herd of friends to come and sit next to me. She didn't say anything before taking out a pudding cup from her purse along with a metal spoon and began eating it.**

"I take it you like pudding." Hermes said. Eliza shrugged.

**I knew she missed home as much as I did. She saw our mother less than I did, sure we all spent the holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving together, but during the summer she went to cheerleading camp.**

"Camp Half-Blood." Eliza informed them.

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table.**

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends—I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

"YOU SUCK!" Hermes yelled.

**"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

"Well," Apollo said looking sick. "Thanks you for ruining Cheetos for me."

**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

"_A wave?"_ Athena thought aloud and everyone looked at Poseidon.

"I don't know why you're all looking at me." He said.

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see—"**

**"—the water—"**

**"—like it grabbed her—"**

"POSEIDON!" Zeus yelled.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Technically," Eliza cut it. "Poseidon has done nothing wrong."

"And how is that?" Zeus asked.

"I told you I came back a few weeks after my 26th birthday right?" She asked and everyone nodded. "Okay, so far so good. In this time period I'm only 3, meaning I came from 22 years in the future. Everybody still with me?"

"For now." Apollo said.

"Okay I am exactly 4 years, 10 months and 2 days older than Percy and my 4th birthday is tomorrow meaning that Percy isn't even conceived yet." She said. "So in that sense Poseidon has done nothing wrong. Everyone understand?" She asked and everyone nodded.

"Wait!" Hermes exclaimed.

"What?" Eliza asked.

"Percy is your brother," Hermes said.

"State the obvious." She said crossing her legs.

"And Poseidon is Percy's father, but you're both demi-gods and have the same mother."

"Your point?" Eliza asked not looking at anyone.

"Well it's rare for 2 gods to be drawn and have a child with the same woman, rare as in it's never happened before." Eliza rubbed her neck as everyone realized what he was saying.

"You're-"

"Poseidon is not my biological father or my godly parent." Eliza interupted before anything else could be said.

"You said biological father." Apollo said. "Meaning that he is a father to you in-"

"Dammit Apollo!" Eliza yelled. "Now you decide to pay attention!?"

"Explain." Athena demanded. "Now." Eliza sighed.

"Let's finish this chapter then I'll explain everything," She said. "I swear."

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey—"**

**"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

"Hermes what's rule one in your troublemakers rule-book?" Apollo asked.

"Never lie to mom." Hermes recited. Apollo looked confused for a bit before he conjured up a book and started flipping through the pages. Soon he found what he was looking for before sending the book away.

"I meant rule 26." Apollo corrected.

"Never guess your punishment."

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"No shit Sherlock."

**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. **_**I **_**pushed her."**

**I stared at him along with Eliza, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.**

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

"That's one brave satyr." Hades commented.

**"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

**"But—"**

**"You—**_**will**_—**stay—here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

"Aww!" Aphrodite squealed. "He's worried.

"He's his protector, it's his job."

**"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

**"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "**_**Now**_**."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.**

"Scary" Ares joked.

"You'd be surprised." Eliza said. "His glares have been known to make gods shake in their boots."

**Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?**

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

"That's one down side to ADHD." Apollo noted.

"I wasn't aware there was an upside." Eliza said.

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

"Not exactly." Eliza mumbled.

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

Eliza face-palmed.

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

"Except for the statues watching your every move." Hermes said then shivered. "I hate statues."

"And paintings." Apollo added.

"How am I even related to you two?" Persephone asked.

"I've been asking myself that ever since I came out of fathers head." Athena said.

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...**

"Maybe because she did," Artemis said. "But what do I know? I'm just a goddess."

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

"My brother isn't polite to anyone except our mom." Eliza said.

"He's not polite to you?" Demeter asked.

"Oh he's polite to me." Eliza said. "He was practically raised around women until mom mar-" But she stopped talking.

"Until mom what?" Ares asked.

"Don't you hate it when you don't get the full message?" Dionysus asked. Hermes sighed loudly.

"It was one time! Let it go!" He yelled. "You forget to tell a man he's banned from drinking wine one time!"

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me. **

"Oh Percy," Apollo sighed. "Young, naive Percy..."

**I said, "I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am."**

**Thunder shook the building.**

"Who put your panties in a bunch?" Hades asked Zeus.

"Your wife." Zeus shot back.

"Who's your daughter." Hades reminded him. Zeus was smart enough not to meet the glare coming from one of his daughters.

**"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

"Lot of good that did him." Eliza muttered.

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room.**

"Dude!" Apollo and Hermes exclaimed.

**Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on **_**Tom Sawyer **_**from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

"Does he know that Tom Sawyer was one of my sons?" Athena asked.

"Considering that in his mind you're all myths?" Eliza asked. "No."

**"Well?" she demanded.**

**"Ma'am, I don't..."**

**"Your time is up," she hissed.**

"Well maybe next time you should tell someone they're being timed." Apollo huffed.

"You talk a lot, did you know that?" Ares asked.

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

"YOU SENT A FURY AFTER MY SON!" Poseidon screamed. He tried to get off of the couch, but he couldn't. "Let me go!"

"No can do baby brother." Hestia said. "Killing Hades won't fix anything."

"She's right." Eliza said. "If anything it'll make everything worst."

"Are you sure?" Poseidon growled.

"Positive." Poseidon sighed and slumped back.

**Then things got even stranger.**

"Is that possible?" Hephaestus asked.

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, was wheeled into the doorway of the gallery by Eliza, holding a pen in his hand.**

**"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

"Who says 'What ho!' anymore?" Ares asked. "Couldn't you just say 'Take this pen and don't die!'?" Chiron just blinked at him.

"You got your brains from your father." Chiron said quietly, rubbing his temples.

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

"If he dies, you die." Poseidon growled at Hades.

"Technically I didn't do anything right?" He asked looking at Eliza.

"My name is Bennett and I'm not in it."

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword—Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

"You used Anaklusmos in front of mortals?" Athena asked.

"Maybe I just wanted to give them an accurate education."

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

"Wimp." Ares laughed.

"Then what does that make you?" Eliza asked innocently.

"Shut up." Ares grumbled.

"What?"

"What?"

**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

**And she flew straight at me.**

Everyone was quiet and Athena stopped reading.

"Go on..." Apollo said.

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

"Is that natural?" Persephone asked.

"For stronger demi-gods," Eliza answered. "But even then those ones have been at it a lot longer than him."

"Did it come natural to you?" Ares asked. Eliza knew she had to choose her words carefully.

"Well my natural parent being who they are fighting didn't come naturally." Eliza said. "It really didn't sink in that I needed to learn how to fight until Percy came along."

"Would you just tell us who your godly parent is?!" Apollo yelled and Eliza quirked an eyebrow. "Please?"

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. **_**Hisss!**_

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

"Yet he still lets the mist affect him?" Athena asked.

"It hadn't really sinked in what had happened." Chiron explained.

**Eliza and Mr. Brunner weren't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

"Those must've been some pretty gnarly mushrooms." Apollo said with a grin.

"Again," Persephone asked. "How are any of us related to you?"

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head while Eliza sat next to him under her rainbow umbrella. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

"Who now?"

**I said, "Who?"**

**"Our **_**teacher.**_ **Duh!"**

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

"Never ask a bully questions." Eliza instructed. "It annoys them."

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

"Grover seriously needs lying lessons." Annabeth says shaking her head.

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.**

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

"You are a very mean man." Hermes said trying not to laugh.

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

**"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

**"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"You're going to make him think he's crazy." Aphrodite said to Chiron.

"That was the end of the chapter." Athena announced and all eyes went to Eliza. "Now explain."


End file.
